Goal: A healthy relationship with money.
I realized that although I do want to be free from any mental/emotional/physical strain lack of money usually brings, I absolutely have a screwy relationship with money. Like I feel that any desire for it is an automatic path to corruption and greed. Like it's evil incarnate. o.o
This realization came about while I was chanting one day. Buddhism teaches that all things have the potential to be in/manifest the Ten Worlds. The Worlds themselves have explanations, characteristics, etc. It's definitely one of my Top 5 Buddhist concepts! But the real basic awesome-ness of the Ten Worlds is that nothing is just bad or good or anything else negative, neutral, positive.
Everything has potential. Everything can change and be something else. This concept makes Buddhism Hope to the Power of Infinity and is the reason why OMG I have faith in humanity once more! Haha! :D
The other awesome thing is that the Ten Worlds applies to EVERYTHING. It's one-size-fits-all. Including money.
I've been completely restricting it; it doesn't have to be evil. It all depends on me and how I choose to view it and use it.
Now that might sound like a simple bit of knowledge, but I was so unaware of this delusion that I had no way to address it.
The thing that's tripping you up is right on you but you're not aware of it so you go about wondering why you feel bad.
I'm just really grateful that I'm starting to change my relationship with money at this young age of 19, without people depending on me, mortgage etc. Hoorah and thank you Gohonzon! Much love! <3
Currently I feel like I'm reaching for the forbidden cookie jar whenever I want to spend a "large" sum on something I really find appealing. It's like I feel because I'm 19 and working/going to be a student, I have to be poor. For example, in the very recent past I felt arrogant for wanting to live in a place that is nice and not just "nice for a student".
Now, I'm not talking about crazy mansions and what not. That's not even what I want. But I am talking about things that are exactly what I'm all about and feeling bad for wanting to buy them because they're not under a $100 or whatever.
I guess it's feeling awkward about wanting the best when I'm "just starting out in life". And also feeling like it's "wasting" money if I use it on anything that's not necessary for life. That stems from 1. childhood, when mom would always fret about there not being money and 2. deeeeeeep-seated karma of not loving myself fully, always cutting myself down (that's been in the works since day one of chanting and DAMNNN have I come a long way forward. Mmmm.)
I'm saying FUCK IT to all that. Because literal age has nothing to do with actual living. And I want to live. Now. I refuse to wait for some far off time to treat myself the way I deserve to be treated.
I will not complicate life.
If I truly encounter something that resonates with me, why should I not bring it into my life? I'm not stupid and I won't put myself into a stupid situation. I'm not talking about maxing out credit cards or neglecting bills, etc. I'm not a compulsive buyer at all and I don't plan on becoming one.
But I do find myself under the chains of "I'm poor, I need to count every penny or I'll never make it" mentality. And that will not be my song no mo'. If wealth is a state of mind, then I'm the richest lil' lady in the world. And so is everyone else. We can be all abundant in this world, and for me that's the key to putting this crazy/awesome reeducation thing in motion. I'm not making someone else poorer by becoming richer.
And actually, Buddhism would say that by me becoming richer(lit and fig), I make the world richer.
When you lift yourself, you lift the entire world.
Say hello to "Oneness of self and the environment", Buddhist concept #2 of the Fave 5! :D And hello, money! Let's grow and create together! <3
Now down to brass tacks.
I'm a big fan of symbolism and self-improvement. The 2 combined are going to be put to work... now. :)
Veta + $ = BFF: I will regularly start posting the ways in which I want to use money while appreciating the ability to do without feeling guilty.
I love you Ikea for making this sofa!
- Mission: Veta + $ = BFF